Beautifully Broken

Yesterday was one of those days.

After a session with my master spiritual coach, I was like, “shit”, you still manage to find a part of me that was hiding away, that needs fixing, that’s broken. I thought I had it together and was all good in that area.

Emotions can flood through us when we release something we’ve been holding onto deep down. It can be easy to keep busy instead, especially through motherhood; we’re fighting our way through hormone imbalances, feeling like we’re no longer ourselves and attempting to remain human through sleepless nights.

But after sleeping on it, I acknowledged the beauty in my discovery.

As part of being human, we develop coping strategies, behaviours, and ways to meet our needs. These aren’t always conscious decisions; it’s a way in which our conscious mind has taken our experiences and attached meaning to them, so when that happens again, it can keep us what it thinks is safe and protected.


Why do we hide these parts of ourselves?

We have a habit of burying our heads in the sand when it comes to vulnerability, and letting our secrets out in the open is daunting. I knew my hidden, broken part was there but chose to keep it buried. 

I believed that allowing this to be unwrapped would make me vulnerable, weak or not a good person. By viewing this as a negative, I reinforced this belief/behaviour to continue.

Motherhood is an unpredictable voyage; we travel through the most difficult and the most beautiful experiences there could be. As mothers, we will teach for many years to come, but we need to remember that we will also never stop learning and growing in ourselves. 

Sometimes we get it right, and other times we’ll find our world crashing to the ground around us. But only growth allows us to step out of our limiting beliefs and understand that we are not broken just because we haven’t gotten it right every time.


Growth is a beautiful thing, but how do we do it?

To change these behaviours, where we’re busy hiding things from the outside world and ourselves, we have to rewire the subconscious, the bit underwater, where we file all those meanings and experiences. 

And how do we do that? By allowing ourselves to bring them to the surface. It doesn’t mean you are broken, and it doesn’t mean you are damaged, and it means you have a beautiful opportunity for choice and growth. 

If you’re feeling off-balance, it can affect your mental health, emotions, and mummy duties; but by allowing yourself to spend time identifying your strengths, you can find alignment in thinking and feeling.

It can be scary as hell when you step into growth, but think about how much you’ve already grown as a mother! From the moment you found out you were pregnant, through developing and birthing a tiny human and bringing them into this world. You’ve grown every step of the way – emotionally and physically. 

Letting go of what is holding you back

When you consider your fears and behaviours that are holding you back, ask yourself:

Is this behaviour still serving you? 

Can you see and feel you are ready to release this belief? 

What would your world look and feel like without this belief/behaviour?

Motherhood is many things; a process of change, letting go, becoming extended versions of ourselves and discovering new possibilities that we didn’t even know existed.

The beauty is in discovering and exploring the reality you wish to create. You can only honestly notice this when you have seen, been shown, or committed to seeing beneath the surface of your current reality. 

Of course, if it is shown and seen and you still wish to keep that part of you, nothing needs to change – the choice remains yours. 

For me, the realisation of that beauty and opportunity for change in being fully open rather than thinking shit; you still managed to find a part of me that was broken or needs fixing—and knowing that I have the power, motivation and want to release it.

That is not beautifully broken, but beautifully unwrapped, beautifully flowing. 

So, give yourself a break, you’ve never known yourself as a parent before, and it can be overwhelming trying to figure out who you are now. If you’re feeling affected by this, I want you to know that you are not alone. Reach out today to discuss my virtual support packages, in-depth coaching and adjustment to motherhood packages, you don’t have to do it alone. 


More Blogs

7 Tips for Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

The motherhood identity crisis isn’t surprising given that from the moment a woman learns she is expecting a baby, her world changes. The life that was once devoted to personal interests and success has now been shifted to focus solely on the development of and love for her child. This transition often leaves new mums…

Read More about 7 Tips for Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood

The Final Weeks Of Pregnancy

You have gone through months of preparing, learning and absorbing every ounce of information out there.

There have been weeks of crossing things off to-do lists, finishing work, buying new things, getting odd jobs tied up, filling the fridge, practising the drive to the hospital, testing a dry run of the birth pool.

Read More about The Final Weeks Of Pregnancy