Do you love what you feel?

It’s a thing! The “gut feeling” that’s pulling you in a specific direction. The “inner voice” that feels right. If you can learn to listen to it, that instinct helps you make choices, make decisions, and innately tells you what is right.

 

However, in your mind as a new mum, when you have a cocktail of exhaustion and hormones running around your body, you can be forgiven for not knowing what day it is or what time it is. You have an overwhelming urge to do everything ‘right’ for this tiny new person relying solely on you to meet all their needs, and that responsibility makes trusting ourselves challenging.

 

At any time in our life, we habitually lean towards books, Google, friends, family, and sometimes strangers for advice and a plan to follow. So at a time when you are at your most vulnerable, of course, you can’t KNOW what to do, what is right and what is best.

 

Trusting your instinct and intuition

You haven’t ever done ‘this’ before; you’ve never had to parent or make choices and decisions that will affect a new little person and their entire future. Of course, someone else knows more than you and can tell you what to do, how to do it and what you should be feeling.

 

What we fail to realise is that as a mother, as someone who has housed a baby from cell to being, whose body has provided nourishment, warmth and security and knew precisely how to bring your baby into the world, you know what is right. Your instinct and intuition are tuned to know what is best for your baby from day one. You innately understand what’s needed and exactly how to nurture your child.

 

Following research in 2016 measuring emotions whilst making decisions, there is now a way to measure intuition. The study suggested that just as people become comfortable making decisions using logic and reasoning, they may become more adept at creating an intuitive decision the more it is used over time.

 

What better time to start trusting and using the unconscious “information in your brain or body” than during a time when you’re surrounded by evidence that your body knows exactly what to do? 

 

And you know what is right now; now this baby is here with you and your partner/family. This is a time for you to lean into the understanding that you won’t do any harm and that there is no right or wrong way. 

The innate skill of motherhood

 

It’s a time to trust that what you feel as a parent is correct, that you will always seek to continue providing the warmth, security, and love you nurtured through your pregnancy. It’s a time to learn that now your baby is here, earthside, becoming a parent is an innate skill, just as nurturing your baby through pregnancy was. 

 

Becoming a parent is a process that can look different at any moment in time, and it’s something that flows and evolves as you face each moment with no hard and fast rules that you must stick to. 

 

You are in control; you are the expert; you know what you, your family and your baby need. You are allowed to make changes, and you are allowed to break the rules you created. 

 

You are allowed to change your mind from deciding never to give your baby a dummy to know that at 3am when you find yourself with a restless newborn, who has fed for hours, been walked and rocked, cuddled and sung to, to know that using a dummy will provide the pause you both so desperately need.

 

Being a parent is about doing what feels right at the time, regardless of the reasons and what you said previously. Being a parent is about doing it, going for it! It’s about choosing what you and your child need at any one time, from buying you the respite you need to getting an hour’s sleep, to grab a shower, to remember that you are more than just a mother.

 

You get to do what you want to do at each moment. There are no rules, and tomorrow is a new day.

 

 

Finding what resonates with you 

 

We’re made to feel that parenting is about hitting milestones and achieving measurable “things” in today’s society; that you and your baby should be ticking things off a never-ending list. These should be happening simultaneously and at pace as well as those around you. In this world, it’s easy to feel as a mother that you have to be working towards goals, routines, and habits to achieve and be a good mother.

 

Is he sleeping through yet?

 

Is she a good baby?

 

Is he smiling yet?

 

People mean well, and it comes from a good place, a place of love, but having lots of other people’s opinions and thoughts can become overwhelming. It can turn off that instinct and intuition even more, making us question our decisions and choices. 

 

Ask a new mother to sniff out her baby blindfolded, and she can do it. Ask a new mother to resist the urge to pick up and cuddle her crying newborn baby; she can’t. 

 

It’s not about not reading parenting books and adopting everything you discover. It’s about exploring the options, finding something that resonates with you, something true to you. Use your intuition instead of accepting that something you have read or been told must be right. Does it feel right, or is every inch of your being screaming to you that it’s not?

 

There is no magic solution; there is just you. As a new mother, you listen to what is within, what has been instinctively used by mothers before that came before you and mothers hereafter. You simply need to listen and hear it – to tap into it, to nurture and trust it.

 

It all starts with you! Slow down, listen and nurture those feelings that feel right and be confident in your ability to parent in a way that feels comfortable and settled…and trust!

 

The Motherhood Mentor

 

A large part of what I do in my role as The Motherhood Mentor focuses on supporting parents through the process of learning to listen to and trust their intuition. 

 

Instead of telling you what you should and shouldn’t be doing, together, we explore your wants, wishes, fears, feelings, and questions, where you can feel safe, vulnerable and emotional but get to a place that feels perfect for you as a parent. 

 

A place where you listen to that pull, those feelings, your intuition and trust it…to go with it! If you’re struggling to trust your instincts at this time, reach out to discuss how we can work together to explore your needs, permit yourself to be the mum that you innately are and love what you feel.

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