Why Is My Baby Crying? Understanding Colic, Reflux and Overtiredness (0–3 Months)

When Your Baby Cries and Nothing Seems to Work

If you’re in the first few months and your baby cries in a way that feels relentless, I want you to know something first:

You are not doing anything wrong.

There is a very particular kind of helplessness that comes from holding a baby who won’t settle, trying feed after feed, rock after rock, bounce after bounce, and still feeling like you can’t soothe them.

It’s even harder when:

• It happens at the same time every evening
• It feels worse at night
• Your baby seems uncomfortable
• You keep hearing different opinions about what it “must be”

Parents often tell me:

“I don’t know what they need.”

“I feel like I’ve tried everything.”

“Is this normal?”

“Is it colic? Is it reflux? Are they overtired?”

This guide is here to help you make sense of those early crying patterns in a calm, gentle way—especially during the first 0–3 months, when everything feels new and intense.

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First: Crying Is Communication, Not a Sign You’re Failing

In the early weeks, babies don’t have many ways to communicate.

Crying is their language.

Sometimes the reason is simple.

Sometimes it’s layered.

Two things can be true at the same time:

• Your baby’s crying can be completely normal.
• It can still feel emotionally exhausting for you.

The goal isn’t to stop every cry.

The goal is to understand the patterns, reduce discomfort where possible, and help you feel calmer and more confident.

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Why Babies Often Cry More Between 2 and 10 Weeks

Many babies go through a peak crying phase, often around 6–8 weeks.

This can look like:

• More crying during the evenings
• Cluster feeding
• Fussiness after feeds
• Short naps
• Frequent waking
• Crying that feels out of proportion

This stage is often called the “fussy phase”, and for many babies it gradually improves after 10–12 weeks.

Within this normal developmental stage, there can also be specific contributing factors, including:

• Overtiredness
• Wind
• Reflux
• Sensory overload
• Cow’s milk protein allergy or intolerance (in some babies)

Let’s look at the three most common explanations parents hear.

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1. Overtiredness (Often Mistaken for Colic)

Overtiredness is one of the most common causes of prolonged crying during the newborn months because babies can only comfortably stay awake for short periods.

During the first three months, many babies can manage:

• Around 45–60 minutes of awake time in the early weeks
• Gradually longer wake windows as they approach 12 weeks

If they stay awake for too long—whether from visitors, feeding, stimulation, or simply missing their sleep cues—they can enter a cycle of:

Tired → Wired → Harder to Settle → Even More Tired

Signs Your Baby May Be Overtired

• Crying increases later in the day
• Short naps (20–40 minutes)
• Yawning or staring into space
• Rubbing eyes or jerky movements
• Pulling away during feeds
• Briefly calming before crying again
• Resisting sleep despite obvious tiredness
• Arching or squirming

Gentle Ways to Help

• Bring bedtime earlier (often much earlier than expected)
• Reduce stimulation during the evening
• Offer sleep before your baby appears overtired
• Keep wake windows short
• Use consistent calming techniques such as:
  • Rocking
  • Swaying
  • White noise
  • Skin-to-skin contact

If your baby mainly cries during the evening and settles with sleep support, overtiredness is often part of the picture.

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2. Reflux (And the Difference Between Reflux and Reflux Discomfort)

Reflux is extremely common because a baby’s digestive system is still developing.

Many babies spit up milk and remain perfectly content.

This is often normal.

The concern is when reflux becomes uncomfortable or begins affecting feeding and sleep.

Signs Reflux May Be Causing Discomfort

• Crying or arching during or after feeds
• Frequent hiccups
• Discomfort when lying flat
• Wet burps or repeated swallowing
• Restless sleep after feeding
• Large amounts of spit-up
• Pulling away from feeds
• Coughing or gagging after feeding

Sometimes reflux occurs alongside:

• Wind
• Fast milk flow
• Overfeeding
• Feeding difficulties
• Food sensitivities or intolerances

Gentle Ways to Help

• Try paced bottle feeding if bottle feeding
• Slow feeds with regular pauses
• Hold your baby upright for 20–30 minutes after feeding
• Check breastfeeding latch where appropriate
• Make sure bottle teats aren’t flowing too quickly
• Consider whether your baby may be swallowing excess air during feeds

Before assuming medication is needed, it can be helpful to gently review feeding techniques and positioning.

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3. Colic (Often a Label Rather Than a Diagnosis)

Colic is one of the most confusing terms because it describes prolonged crying rather than identifying the cause.

Traditionally, colic is defined as:

• Crying for more than three hours a day
• On more than three days each week
• For more than three weeks

Many babies labelled as having colic are actually experiencing a combination of:

• Overtiredness
• Wind
• Reflux discomfort
• Digestive immaturity
• Overstimulation
• Feeding challenges
• Occasionally, allergies or intolerances

Common Signs

• Predictable evening crying
• Legs pulling towards the tummy
• Red face
• Clenched fists
• Difficult to soothe
• Frequent feeding
• Appearing gassy or uncomfortable

While colic often improves naturally with time, that doesn’t mean families should struggle through it without support.

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The Most Helpful Skill: Pattern Spotting

Instead of focusing on labels, try observing patterns.

Ask yourself:

When Does the Crying Usually Happen?

• After feeds?
• During the evening?
• Overnight?
• After a long awake period?

What Helps, Even Briefly?

• Movement?
• Feeding?
• Swaddling?
• Upright cuddles?
• White noise?
• Skin-to-skin contact?

What Does Your Baby Look Like While Crying?

• Uncomfortable?
• Frantic?
• Overtired?
• Gassy?
• Tense?

These observations often help reveal whether you’re dealing with:

• Overtiredness
• Reflux discomfort
• Wind or feeding mechanics
• Or, more commonly, a combination of several factors

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When to Reach Out for Support

You don’t need to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed.

It’s worth seeking support if:

• Crying is affecting feeding or weight gain
• Your baby appears consistently uncomfortable or in pain
• You’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed
• Nights have become unmanageable
• You feel like you’re constantly guessing
• You’re coping during the day but dreading the evenings

Sometimes one calm, experienced perspective can make everything feel much clearer.

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Important Red Flags

Most newborn crying is completely normal.

However, seek advice from your GP, NHS 111, or emergency services immediately if your baby:

• Has a fever (particularly under three months old)
• Is unusually sleepy or difficult to wake
• Has breathing difficulties
• Is vomiting forcefully (projectile vomiting) or has blood in vomit or stools
• Is consistently refusing feeds
• Seems significantly different from their usual self

Trust your instincts.

If something doesn’t feel right, it’s always okay to ask for help.

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Support in Norfolk (And Beyond)

If you’re reading this in Norfolk—whether you’re in King’s Lynn, Hunstanton, Brancaster, Thornham, Burnham Market, Holt, Norwich, or the surrounding villages—and you’re trying to understand your baby’s crying, reflux symptoms, or unsettled evenings…

You don’t have to work it out alone.

I support families throughout Norfolk and also work with parents in London, across the UK, and internationally.

Support can be provided in your home or virtually, depending on what feels right for your family.

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A Gentle Note Before You Go

If you’ve been walking the floor for hours with a crying baby, feeling exhausted and helpless…

Please remember this:

Your baby isn’t giving you a hard time.

They’re having a hard time.

And you are doing your very best through one of life’s most demanding seasons.

With the right support, things often become much clearer.

And with time, this phase does pass.

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Need Calm Support for an Unsettled Baby?

If you’d like gentle, experienced support to help you better understand your baby’s crying, feeding, sleep, and settling—and to help you feel calmer both day and night—you can explore:

• Postnatal Support
• Night Nanny Support
• Book a Call to Talk Through What’s Going On

Add your service links here.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if my baby has colic or reflux?

Reflux usually causes discomfort around feeding and when lying flat, while colic is simply a term used for prolonged crying. Many babies experience a combination of overtiredness, wind, digestive immaturity, and reflux symptoms.

When does newborn crying usually peak?

For many babies, crying peaks around 6–8 weeks before gradually improving after 10–12 weeks.

Can an overtired baby look like they have reflux or colic?

Yes. Overtired babies can arch their backs, squirm, feed frantically, and have long periods of crying, particularly during the evening.

Do you support families throughout Norfolk?

Yes. I support families across Norfolk, including King’s Lynn, Hunstanton, Brancaster, Thornham, Burnham Market, Holt, Norwich, and the surrounding villages. I also work with families in London, throughout the UK, and internationally.